September 2011
Mommy, what does it feel like to be in love?
Two words, sweetie. Frank. Sinatra.
I'm sick of everything being such a goddamned...
How come
People always say, “if you need help, just ask for it” but when I do, all I get is a bunch of know-it-all fucks who think they can tell me what to do and never actually help me with shit.
Hope?
There might be hope but I’m still not sure yet. I didn’t resign and I didn’t get fired. I said everything I wanted to say exactly how I wanted to say it. (Don’t you love it when that happens!) The next few weeks will tell me if I made the right choice or not. The best part? I can still resign if things don’t change. I’d say, overall, today was meh with a tinge...
Vinnie: Xanax, check.
For my own good
T-minus four hours and counting until my uber-confrontational meeting with my soon-to-be ex-boss. I plan to illegally record the conversation with the voice memo app on my iPhone. I’m nervous as hell but have a great poker face. So anyways, y’all got any tips for the recording and/or dealing with someone who’s beyond irrational?
New favorite iPhone app: Phone Gangster
…disguises your voice as a man or woman or no disguise at all
…let’s you choose what number shows up on recipient’s caller ID
…can record your call for later review for fuck tons of laughs
…it’s free
I’m insides hurt right now because I’m laughing so hard!!
Attention parents
Teach your children how to have respect for others. This is a great way to avoid having a stranger (aka me) slap the fuck out of your child for being rude.
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Get to know me:
At any given time, where would you most likely find Jeni?
- In a poorly lit and poorly air conditioned room, alone, surrounded by laptops, sweating and wishing someone would bring her some food considering she hasn’t left the room in nine hours
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My son picked up my phone to see what time it was...
Too much self reflection will make you crazy.
More cliffs and rope
I’ve been lied to a lot. Not like little lies your mom or best friend tell you to keep you safe. I’m in no place to get into what people have lied about or why they have done it but I have to admit that it’s taken a big toll on my ability to trust others even the slightest. I question absolutely everything. Sometimes to the point of paranoia. As I get older and try to reverse...
My heart, prayers and thoughts go out to the friends, family and those who were injured at yesterday’s air show. I’m deeply sorry for their loss. My family and I have been going to air shows since the early 80’s and never have we heard of an accident so tragic. What a loss.
Eight years old
My daughter got her first phone call from a boy today. Not just any boy either, a boy she’s had a huge crush on since last year. I told him she was busy and he could call her back in an hour then her and I jumped up and down chanting “OMG!” for at least ten minutes. He ended up calling her back before the hour was up.
She suddenly went from 8 years old to a teenager. I refuse...
This is my 3,019th post. So, there's that.
Apparently, you gotta murder a muthafucka to get...
I can’t quit and I can’t seem to find something else that pays this good. My only option is to wait around to get fired. I am so tired of sucking dicks.
Remembering a relationship, one chat at a time. →
Do you do this? I totally do this. Only with this one guy I’m absolutely head over heals in love with though. I wish my old fiance, the one that had passed away, had exchanged emails and chats with me before he died so I could look back at those too. It’s a nice way to relive those small moments that your brain is too full to store.
Duh, click the link above.
Sometimes I wish I could take back all of my texts...
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It's okay to cry when...
-Your mom or dad dies or your kid or someone you love
-On Christmas but only if you get a child a gift they’ve always wanted and they cry first
-Your children are born
-On the day you finally realize you love him and he loves you back just as much
-If it’s your party; you can cry if you want to
-On 9/11 even if you weren’t there and you don’t know anyone who died that...
Confession
I never saw the movie The Jungle Book, even to this day. My mom thought it was racist or that was her excuse. She also thought it was okay for me to drive her and five of her drunkest friends all over the city in the middle of the night when I was only 13 years old and take photos of me with puke in my hair, at 14 years old, when I lost one of our Jack Daniels drinking competitions.
These are...
Ten Years
It’s been ten years. Ten. Milestones are weird. They bring remembrance to some and closure to others and represent a new beginnings for all. This weekend is an especially painful remembrance of the horror and trauma we all, worldwide, experienced that day.
To those of you in silent tears today, grieving for the loss of loved ones and reliving the shock and trauma of this tragic event,...
It's okay to tell yourself you're pretty once in a...
Just don’t let anyone catch you doing it.
Welcome to self-doubt
“If you’ve always been told your natural human emotional reaction is irrational and unacceptable then you’ll never be able to trust your instincts.”
My therapist should be paying me.
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themisscook asked: I wish I could put into words how awesome I think you are. I love your raw honesty. I love your "other" blog. I'm jealous of your incredible wit. You are just amazing and I thought you should know that :)
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Truthful What The Fuck Day Is It
I’m confused by sheer glee and completely disturbed with the fact that my DVR only recorded 37 minutes of my favorite show, Big Brother, and it just so happens that my 60+ year old step-father was able to catch the show and give me a play by play to ease all my disappointment and feeling of extreme loss and the most disgusting fact of all this dramatic unfolding in my life tonight, is the...
I would prefer not to participate in life today.
…but there are appearances to be made and hands to shake, zombies to hug and cookies to bake.
I need magic and motivation. STAT!
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